This is a continuation of a series
about Technology and the Christian. In this article I want us to
think through the relationship between our use of technology and our
face to face relationships.
I think all of us have seen the bizarre
sight of a man and woman across from each other in a restaurant each
texting or talking to someone else. I saw something similar to this
on a beautiful evening while walking down the sidewalk. Toward me
came a man and woman walking side by side. Both of them had a phone
up to their ear talking to someone elsewhere. It seemed to me that in
so doing they were missing both the potential communication with the
other person as well as all of the interesting sights and sounds of
their actual location.
Why do we do this to ourselves? What is
it about remote contacts that is more interesting than those we are
with? There is a danger here that I don’t think many people think
about. If the person you are with is someone near and dear to you
like a wife or a child, and if you repeatedly move yourself from
attending to them to attending to someone else (or something else),
the relationship changes and is ultimately harmed in some way. It may
not be over night, but in time the relationship will not be as strong
as it should be.
We are already familiar with the jokes
about the husband who is distracted by a newspaper or a ball game
when his wife is trying to talk to him. Think about how much greater
the barrier is when there is an actual person on the other end of a
conversation who is getting precedence over ones own spouse. This
kind of thing will certainly happen from time to time, but let’s
just imagine the scenario that every evening one spouse is texting
some invisible person to the neglect of the person right there in
front of him. Doesn’t that have the potential to break down the
communication and put distance between the two of them? What if they
both are doing it? They are each receiving some sort of fulfilling
input from a source other than their spouse. Over time, this has to
have a damaging effect on the relationship.
Read what one anonymous reader posted
on my blog in response to a technology article:
I read through what you
wrote......my comment combines a few, as I am having jealousy issues
with my husband's cell, FB usage, iPad etc. Mostly it is the cell
phone usage with access to FB. We have only been married a short time
*less than a year* and this is a big issue for me- as it takes away
from our time together whether at home, at restaurants, the mall,
even at times, at church. Lately I have been praying for patience and
understanding....understanding as to why he chooses it over me. We
also, btw, have 4 kids with us at any given time. I am going to read
through some of the other postings for enlightenment. But, my stance
is: these pieces (cell, iPad, FB) can hurt a person or a relationship
just by sucking up the TIME it takes away from a loved one.
Let’s consider another scenario. A
family of five is home for the evening for a change. Dad and mom
decide to watch a movie. The children don’t want to watch that
particular movie so the first child goes to his room to watch
something he’s interested in on his computer. The next child props
his feet up in the family room and listens to his favorite playlist
on his Ipod. And the last child texts back and forth with one of her
friends from school. In some homes this is normal. It happens every
day. Do you see a problem here? The family is together, but not
communicating.
Next consider the fact that
self-centeredness is fed by this scenario. No one has to learn to
appreciate the other person’s taste in music or movies. No one has
to learn to share. Everyone can have what suits himself. Sister is
not required to talk to brother if she doesn't want to. While this
might seem like a reasonable thing in today’s world, for the
Christian it is not the direction we want to go.
I've discovered that living the
Christian life is an extremely difficult thing especially when it
comes to our relationships with others, especially when those others
are members of our family. If we are to become the kind of people God
wants us to be, don't we have to learn the skills that he values?
Next time we'll look at some passages from the Bible that will give
us some guidance.
...to be continued...
Part 13 available after it is published here.
PDF version of the entire series
Part 13 available after it is published here.
PDF version of the entire series
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