I’m still thinking about the importance of agape love in a marriage relationship especially as it relates to the husband’s role. As I read 1 Corinthians 13, my attention is focused on 9 concepts. I may come back and visit these in more detail in the future, but for now a short comment about each one will suffice.
Love is patient. It bears long. It is mild and slow in seeking to get even. So it’s important to ask myself how I am doing in this area. Do I carry grudges? Do I try to make sure everything is evened out? Hopefully not.
Love is kind. We know what kindness is. Am I kind to my wife? …all the time?
Love does not envy. It is not zealous and angry over some benefit, characteristic or skill the other person has. Are we being a good example in this area in our home?
Love does not puff itself up. A loving man will not bear himself in a cocky, arrogant way. He will not act and behave as though the whole world revolves around him. How are we doing guys?
Love does not boast of ones abilities or extol his own virtues.
Love is not rude. It is not unbecoming and crude. This is an area where we men have to be careful. We are not women and it is inappropriate to try to develop the softness of character that a woman has. However, there is no excuse for being rude or crude. Even though men are hardened and tough, we need to be able to treat our wife and family with kind politeness.
Love does not seek its own way. How hard is this one? We are supposed to be the leaders in our homes. We are to be the head. Doesn’t that mean we should seek our own way? The leadership we have should be a godly selfless leadership. We don’t need to get our own way unless our way is a godly way in contrast to a sinful or worldly way our wife might choose. But really, how often does that happen? God humbled Himself and took the position of a servant. This is God’s expectation for us as well.
Love is not irritable. It is not easily stirred to anger nor is it easily riled up. Even though the behavior of my wife or children may be such that would rile up or stir up a natural man, these same events occurring in the life of a loving man will not rile him up.
Love is not resentful. It does not think evil of the other person or what the other person has done. Colossians 3:19 tells us that we are to love our wife and not to be bitter or exasperated toward her.
Take some time to read and reread these basic 9 characteristics of godly, biblical love. How does your level of love stack up against the standard? If you’re like me, it doesn’t come close to being what God would like it to be. And yet, this is what Peter told us we should be diligent in adding our life.
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