Life is interesting in a number of ways. There are twists
and turns that we never expect and yet we continue day by day as God provides
each new day for us. I used to tell my kids, “today is one of the days of your
life.” Sometimes we think that our real life, the one biographers will write
about, will start sometime in the future. But today is one of those days. If
there ever is to be a biography it may include the events of today.
This
brings us to reflect on another interesting thing about life. The vast majority
of our life is in the past and the future. There is only a small miniscule
portion of life that represents the present moment. If you are reading this in
the afternoon, your breakfast and all your morning activities are only
memories. Nothing about them can be changed. Your evening activities are still
only an anticipation. They don’t exist yet. They are not a reality yet.
This
brings me to the theme of this article. We are writing especially to parents
and grandparents. Since only the present moment exists and quickly turns into a
memory, our opinion is that we should plan the present moment and future
moments so that we personally, but especially so that our children and
grandchildren will have the kind of memories we want them to have. We’re not
speaking here of special memories such as a trip to a museum or amusement park.
We’re referring to day-to-day memories of events and conversations in the
normal course of life. Do you want them to remember a high priority on
spiritual growth or remember that all you cared about was getting ahead and
having fun? What they remember from their childhood is probably where they will
put the priorities for living their lives and the training of their own
children.
You only have one opportunity each moment to provide the memories. Once
your children are out of your home, those memories are fixed and there is no
way to go back and change them. So it seems to us that it’s important to
think ahead. Now it’s impossible to plan perfectly and you can drive yourself
crazy wondering if today’s memories will be the kind you want your kids to
remember. However, it seems to us that very few people give this any thought at
all. Deuteronomy 6 speaks of this
concept: “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.
You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when
you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when
you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as
frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your
house and on your gates” (Deuteronomy 6:6–9, NKJV).
Notice that the writer speaks of
“teaching diligently”, talking about spiritual truth while you sit in the
house, while you are out walking, at bedtime and first thing in the morning. He
says we should have signs and symbols around the house that speak of the kind
of life God wants us to be living. All of these things will provide memories of
a pattern and atmosphere that permeated your home. Grandparents, you can do the
same thing. When your grandchildren are with you, you can speak of things
related to God, His creation, His wisdom, His faithfulness to you in the past, etc.
Many times our focus as parents and
maybe especially grandparents is what stuff we can give to our children. Stuff
wears out and breaks, but the memories our children and grandchildren take with
them cannot be destroyed. That’s both a good and bad thing depending on what
those memories are like.
As we go through life, it is
impossible to do everything. There is not enough time to provide every
opportunity and experience for our family. Therefore, we must pick and choose
what we will do and what we will provide. The Bible says, “And this I pray,
that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment,
that you may approve the things that are excellent…” (Philippians 1:9–10,
NKJV).
We are called upon to be
discerning, to evaluate and then to approve the excellent. Paul wrote to the
Thessalonian Christians, “Test all things; hold fast what is good” (1
Thessalonians 5:21, NKJV).
God would have us evaluate
everything and then approve and hold fast to what is good and excellent. We are
to redeem the time (Colossians 4:5). The reason for these admonitions is
because everything we do, we are to do for the glory of God. And since we
cannot do everything there is to do, even among the things that aren’t sinful,
we are to choose the best and wisest course every single day. In so doing, we
will be providing our children and grandchildren with those experiences that will
be worth remembering and will build them up in their faith.
So what kind of memories do you
want your children or grandchildren to remember? Order or chaos? A quiet and calming
environment or a loud and boisterous atmosphere. A soft answer that turns away
wrath (Proverbs 15:1), or loud and angry correction (James 1:20)? Will you help
your family seek first the kingdom of God so that all of the other things will
be provided for them (Matthew 6:33)?
What kind of memories are you
creating for yourself and your family? If you’ve been on the wrong course, you
may not be able to repair the memories already there, but with God’s help you
can change direction and begin providing new memories that will redound to the
glory of God.
